Finding Peace in the Middle of Chaos: An Ayurvedic Guide for Caregivers During the Holidays
- Jean-Francois Alleno
- Dec 15, 2025
- 6 min read
Caregiver, you are not responsible for creating the “perfect holiday” for everyone.
In this video, I’ll show you how Ayurveda helps you find peace without doing more, without pretending everything is fine, and without carrying the invisible emotional load of the season.
✨ In this video, you’ll learn:
• The Invisible Holiday Load caregivers carry
• Why holiday chaos affects caregivers more (especially in Vata season)
• How to protect your energy instead of draining it
• The holiday myth you absolutely need to release
• Two practical tools to make the holidays calmer:
The Soft Holiday Plan
The Two Yes, One No Rule
This year, you don’t need to create magic. You need to protect your energy and find steadiness inside the chaos.
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Caregiver, let me tell you something quite bold. You are not responsible for making the holidays magical for everyone. I know that might feel quite uncomfortable to hear, maybe even a bit rebellious, but it's true. And Ayurveda help us understand why. Because this time of the year, while everyone else is talking about joy and celebration, caregivers are
often carrying double the emotion load. in today's video, I want to help you find peace in the middle of chaos. Not by doing more, not by pretending everything is fine,
but by redefining the holidays on your own terms. So we are going to talk about three things. Number one, the invisible holiday load. Yeah, it's real. Number two, how Ayurveda reframe the message on finding peace in the middle of chaos or calm in the middle of chaos.
and three, the holiday myth that you absolutely need to let go.
And stay until the end as I will share with you a few tips. Yes, you heard it. It will be a few tips combined in two different plans to make your holiday a little bit easier this year. Hi, I'm Jean-Francois. I'm a registered nurse , an Ayurvedic health counselor, a yoga teacher and a Vedic astrologer.
My job, I help caregivers of aging parents move from running on empty to feeling grounded, confident and emotionally steady again. All right, so let's begin. What is the invisible holiday load? Caregiver, the holidays don't just bring lights, music and gathering. They bring more people.
more noise, more expectations, more responsibility, more emotional triggers, more, more and more, more than you can chew on. Because most of the time caregivers are the one who hold the peace. They are the one who manage the logistic. They try to avoid conflict
and they are the one person secretly everybody's rely on to make things smooth. Wow, that's huge. So here's the truth. You are not overwhelmed because you are weak. You are overwhelmed because you are overworked, energetically, emotionally, physically. So Ayurveda has a word for this winter season. It's actually a time to rest.
to slow down and to turn inward which is almost the opposite of what culture is telling us, what holidays are. So most caregivers get pushed into the opposite, over-stimulated, over-extended, over-committed. So of course it feels chaotic. And of course it feels heavy. And of course you feel you are running on fume by mid-December.
And it's not even the core of the holidays. You are not failing. The expectations are just unrealistic.
Ayurveda teaches us something so important during the season. Peace is not absence of chaos. Peace is the protection of energy. Because chaos come with that holiday season, right? So winter is the Vata season. It's cold, it's dry, it's windy.
And there's lots of unpredictable things happening. So add all the distress on top of that and Vata shoot through the roof. And when Vata rises, the mind gets restless. The heart feel anxious, sleep become harder and boundaries become a little bit blurry, sometimes non-existent. So you feel pulled in a million different directions
Ayurveda says, anchor yourself inside. Your steadiness, not your effort, is what keeps care sustainable. Let me repeat that. Your steadiness, not your effort, is what keeps care sustainable, and especially during the holidays. So let's talk about the holiday myth that you need to let go.
Somewhere along the line, many caregivers absorb the idea that I need to hold everything together so everyone can enjoy the holidays. But listen, you are not the holiday coordinator, not the emotional sponge, not the family event manager, not the peacekeeper between your siblings, not the one who must attend every single gathering.
And definitely not the person responsible for making the season special for everyone. You are a human being with limits, needs, emotion, and a deep desire for peace. And the moment you stop performing for the holidays and start experiencing them on your term, something shifts. You feel calmer.
You feel less resentful. You feel more present and you feel like yourself again. This is the moment caregiving become lighter because you are not trying to fix everything or be everything for everyone. All right. So I told you that, you know, I had a few practical tool this week for the holiday plan. So I have two things. the soft holiday plan and the
2 Yes, 1 No plan. All right, so first things, the soft holiday plan. Step number one, choose your soft holiday plan. So you pick three things during the season. One thing that's going to be nourishing for you. Something that's filled your cup. It can be very tiny. It could be like literally a cup of chai.
or it could be being alone go for a walk around the block or just listening to some music in your car one joyful things something that brings you joy not what brings joy to your mother not what brings you to your sister your cousin everybody else know what brings you joy and it could be
baking your favorite cake for the holiday, watching your favorite movie, or maybe calling your friends who understand you and you can spend a little bit of time being yourself with that friends. And number three, picking some things that's restorative for you. Something that rebuilt your Ojas your deep well of vitality. And it could be as simple as having a nap
and not being guilty about it. A warm bath or just five minutes of slow breathing.
and that's the only plan for the holiday pick something that nourishing you, some things that bring you joy, something that restore your energy. second plan is, and you can combine the two. I love that plan. That plan is for two yes, I have to give a no. And that's the rule
You will have to choose two things that you can say yes, and one thing is you intentionally say no. You say no to something that is very intentional that you know that will drain you if you say yes to that request. So I'm going to give you an example.
And it could be like a few statements. So for example, it could be like, see guys, I will join for dessert, but not for the full dinner. I'm sorry, I don't have the mental capacity to do that. Or I can help mom on Sunday morning, but not the entire day. And that's totally fine.
I'm sorry, I won't be able to host this year. It's way too much. Or I love you all, but I need a quiet evening
These small boundaries aren't act of selfishness. They are act of love. Love for your nervous system, love for your body, love for your future self. Your future self will thank you. All right, so when you practice 2 yes, 1 no, you stop being reactive. You stop being pulled in thousand direction and you start choosing your life instead of being consumed by it.
Let me repeat that. You stop being pulled in thousand directions. You start choosing your life instead of being consumed by it. Your holiday season becomes way more peaceful. And it's not because chaos disappear.
Chaos is still there, but because you are no longer controlled by it.
Caregiver, you deserve a holiday season that doesn't drain you. You deserve a moment of rest, moment of joy, moment of nourishment, moment where you feel like you again. And this year, I want to remind you, you don't need to create the perfect holiday. You need to protect your energy.
Let go of the myth that you have to hold everything together. allow yourself to find peace. Not by controlling the chaos, but by grounding yourself inside the chaos. You are doing enough? You are enough.
If this video resonated with you, give it a like, subscribe for more caregiver-centered Ayurvedic support and share it with someone who needs a gentler holiday season too. And as always, take good care of yourself and I'll see you in the next video.
